In a phrase to cut these lips

Shakespeare, scurvy, and everything in between.

Note to Self

Dear Current Self,

I hope this note finds you well. There are a just a couple of things I would like to bring to your attention.

Firstly, please stop going on Twitter, even if it is just to check up on the tweets of your friends, and even if it is only once or twice a week. You manage the office twitter account and have no inclination to ever log into your own while at work, so there is no reason to succumb to the chirpy little bird at home. You made the decision to eliminate Twitter from your life as it does no good for your well-being, so please have the balls to stick with it.

Secondly, it should come as no surprise to you that Public Relations Executives (or any other permutation of such a title) are all hard as nails in the sweetest sugar coating and will never acquiesce to your requests easily, if at all. Please grow accustomed to the fact that you knew this line was never going to be easy, and you chose it anyway. You thus have no right to complain, because in reality, what does anyone your age know about hardship?

I appreciate your time taken to read this note, penned in such a format to make for easy digestion seeing as your email correspondence has grown exponentially in recent times.

Sincerely,
The Part Of You That Knows Better

My Twitter Journey

I own a tee from Threadless which says “Twitter is the messaging system we never knew we needed until we had it” in blue curved font. Underneath is a tiny bird, better known as the Twitter icon.

I first started out on Twitter in freshman year, just like many of my WKWSCI peers. What began as part of an assignment for the introductory module COM201 turned into a growing fascination with this social media animal. Suddenly it made less sense to write long, descriptive prose when 160-character-long thoughts were all it took to update someone three seats away during a lecture that no one was paying attention to.

The Twitter community grew swiftly, with each new member not wanting to be left out of this growing fad. I remember Regina and I pestering Edwin to get a twitter account until he finally relented and then we got to badger him not only in real life but on social media as well.

So Twitter had found its way into my life and nested itself, stealthily and silently, into my arsenal of social networking sites (and consequently, the bookmarks bar on my Safari browser.) Twitter became the go-to for updates because it was still more niche than Facebook - more private, if one can reconcile using such a word to describe a microblog.

There it stayed, for two years. It was a good companion to have. Members of Iranian Productions bantered across our Twitter feeds as we all listened to the Trippy Playlist I had made while banging out our COM206 report. On the one fateful afternoon when Liz, Eve and I got tipsy with our hip flasks at the back of a COM206 lecture, our real and virtual toasts were evident across the Twitter timeline. Twitter was an ally on lush summer vodka-spiked nights, and where verbosity went to die in the face of cryptic evasive entries.

There came a point, not long before I purchased aforementioned t-shirt, that Twitter became a mainstay in real life as well. When I bought my first smartphone, mornings on the MRT train would be spent scrolling through my feed on the way to school, just so I could be kept updated on the shenanigans of so-and-so. 

It is not a point of my life I am proud of, something I realised near the start of the year one innocuous day at work, when I also came to the startling realisation that despite keeping me informed, Twitter was not keeping me happy. And it was not really an interest in other people’s lives that kept me on Twitter, only a morbid reluctance to be left out of the loop.

Twitter, I decided, would have to go. I took a (mental) deep breath and deleted the app from my iPad, while simultaneously doubting my ability to stay off my timeline. And while I will not claim it was instantly liberating, the subsequent days have shown that it’s really no loss.

When I go back on Twitter now, once every few days, it’s out of curiosity at what the rest of the world is doing with their lives. Yet every time I go back on, it’s sickening to note the level of self-indulgence I used to be a part of, even embrace. Perhaps eventually, I will rid myself of Twitter altogether. For now, it’s no longer on my bookmarks bar, and no longer in my history.

Little baby steps.

Snippets: The Laundry Shop

February 2011

Our landlady, a mother of two who had daughters studying overseas as well, had been kind enough to rent us The Mansion for five months rather than the minimum one year that was typical of housing contracts. What she had failed to mention, however, was that the dryer located in our sliver of a backyard had not worked since her last tenant.

We lived out of our suitcases for the first few days, encumbered with more pressing issues than doing the laundry, until none of us could ignore the fact that our stash of clean clothes was rapidly depleting. Wayne and Edwin decided, despite the lack of dryer, to use the washing machine and then air dry their clothes with a fan. The rest of us waited, perhaps not very hopefully, to see the result of their experiment.

It was to be futile, the cold winter air rendering their clothes perpetually damp. It was a pitiful state to be in. Large sacks of warm but dusty bedding lay around the house, taunting us with their presence. It was, perhaps, a combination of desperation and frustration that drove me, one afternoon, to go on a search for a laundry shop and declare that I would not be home until I had found one.

It sounds ludicrous now that I might feel lost on Guangfu Road, the main street that lay before our Mansion, but we had been in Taiwan for less than a week and I was still unaccustomed to speaking in Mandarin, let alone wandering around in chaotic Taiwanese traffic my own. Still, it was that or live with dirty clothes forever, so off I went in search of a laundry shop.

I probably wandered up and down Guangfu Road a few times that day, asking for directions in halting Mandarin every few shops until eventually the road swung into an alley. I would turn back, I told myself, if the alley did not reveal the the promised laundromat. 

But the laundry gods had smiled upon me that day, and at the end of that small alley, beyond a Family Mart and an electronics store, lay a small laundromat run by two women who wondered at my excitement and abysmal Mandarin before I grabbed a name card and bounded back to the Mansion in excitement.

That evening, Yinghui, Aristocrats Kenny and Wilson, and I bundled all the bedding and laundry we could carry and heaved it to the laundromat, then huddled on small wooden stools as we tucked into steaming soup, which we declared our reward for finding a means to clean clothes.

Two hours later when we returned to the smell of clean clothes and the sight of the two ladies folding our laundry into neat piles, it was a very emotional moment. I am not even kidding. All the way home, we inhaled the fresh scent of laundry softener emanating from the piles of clothes, luxuriating in their residual warmth.

Laundry would thus become a weekly affair, an event we would sometimes plan our schedules around and rush home from school to attend to, so much did we love those two ladies and collecting a fresh load of clothes each time. But at that time, unbeknownst to us, the Laundry Sorting Game was in the pipeline and ready to emerge..

Because 台灣啤酒 was such a big part of my 2011.
This year has been, above all things, a very humbling one. You live your life thinking you’re all that as you approach 21 - grown up and ready to be an adult. At least I did. And then I realised that what everyone says is true, that 21 really is just a number both in youth and in aging. And that life is really what you make of the experiences within. And that if I could, I would live the rest of my life continuing to be humbled every day by the things greater than I am, and all the things I cannot fathom.
In what might seem like a symbolic act (but was really born out of necessity) I cleaned out some of my old junk today, stuff from my insensible pre-teen neoprint-ridden years right up to when I was an anguished seventeen year old. Felt extreme annoyance at Past Self while I was doing so (Y U NO EMOTIONALLY MATURE?! Y U NO APPRECIATE YOUR YOUTH?!) but I guess such is the admonishment that Future Selves always dole out.
I remember thinking, at sixteen, that I hoped I would never grow up and would always remain largely the same. Such folly. Five years seems like a trivial passage of time, but how it alters perceptions and responsibilities. I have peers getting married now, and other peers pressuring me to do the same. (NO!)
I am glad I am no longer the same person I was. And in five years when I look back at my twenty-one year old self, all I can hope for is that I am proud of the person I have been.
Thank you, everyone who has been here thus far.
Hello, start of/rest of my life.

Because 台灣啤酒 was such a big part of my 2011.

This year has been, above all things, a very humbling one. You live your life thinking you’re all that as you approach 21 - grown up and ready to be an adult. At least I did. And then I realised that what everyone says is true, that 21 really is just a number both in youth and in aging. And that life is really what you make of the experiences within. And that if I could, I would live the rest of my life continuing to be humbled every day by the things greater than I am, and all the things I cannot fathom.

In what might seem like a symbolic act (but was really born out of necessity) I cleaned out some of my old junk today, stuff from my insensible pre-teen neoprint-ridden years right up to when I was an anguished seventeen year old. Felt extreme annoyance at Past Self while I was doing so (Y U NO EMOTIONALLY MATURE?! Y U NO APPRECIATE YOUR YOUTH?!) but I guess such is the admonishment that Future Selves always dole out.

I remember thinking, at sixteen, that I hoped I would never grow up and would always remain largely the same. Such folly. Five years seems like a trivial passage of time, but how it alters perceptions and responsibilities. I have peers getting married now, and other peers pressuring me to do the same. (NO!)

I am glad I am no longer the same person I was. And in five years when I look back at my twenty-one year old self, all I can hope for is that I am proud of the person I have been.

Thank you, everyone who has been here thus far.

Hello, start of/rest of my life.

Such a good (lazy) Christmas, and so much to be thankful for.

Have yourself a Merry little Christmas

Sometimes (I act like this is in reference to general events but it’s really tonight) the hardest truths to hear are also the most unexpected. 

Hindsight is the clearest and most difficult vision of all.

There is no redeeming factor for this post, only the way I take things harder than I ever should because I always believe I should have known better.

So hang a shining star upon the highest bough, and have yourself a Merry little Christmas now.

Phimai Historical Park, home to some of the oldest Khmer temples in Thailand.
Great Thailand Adventure: If Cities Were Girls
I really am grateful for this adventure, because I could not have wanted more from a vacation, and also because I cannot think of a more fitting close to this very epic year. Academia is inescapably important and I will make no attempt to pretend otherwise. (This passing reference only in light of tonight’s release of grades.) But in the end when I look back on 2011, a degree audit has nothing on me. On my heart.
I should probably document the Great Thailand Adventure in parts as my photos slowly find their way onto Facebook, though for the time being, they make no haste in that direction. (Hopefully I will also find time to write more frequently about my snippets of Taiwan lest I never finish journaling that experience!)
And when I think back to the two weeks I spent traversing Thailand’s capital, second largest city and rural outskirts, there are things I know will always stay with me, that make up some of the best parts of the year.
If cities were girls I will remember Chiangmai with her dirty blonde hair in dreadlocks, schlepping around backpacker bars and market street stalls in fisherman’s pants and a tie-dyed top. Nails cut short and slightly grimy, perusing the shelves of a second hand book store with a skewer of grilled meat in one hand and a bottle of Chang beer in the other.
I will remember Bangkok for her overt sex appeal, clad in a skintight dress in some tacky shade of neon, hemline barely skirting her hips, pouting expertly painted blood-red lips at a hapless farang. On a good day, she might be content with a cocktail on his tab; if her fancy turned, she might harness the muscle of touts and thugs to scam a poor foreigner into turning over a couple of thousand baht per night. 
And then I will remember sprawling Korat, and its districts of Phimai and Pak Chong, and how the girl-next-door looked like she might be the most uninspiring part of the trip but turned out to be the best. The way her bare feet ran and skipped through trees across a forest floor like it was her living room and how her voice carried like the lilt of a rushing river. I will remember riding, in the back of an open air pickup, down dusty roads dotted with pot-holes, feeling the driver hitting every one with relish, and thinking, in that moment, that there was no fucking thing in the world that would make me happier.

Phimai Historical Park, home to some of the oldest Khmer temples in Thailand.

Great Thailand Adventure: If Cities Were Girls

I really am grateful for this adventure, because I could not have wanted more from a vacation, and also because I cannot think of a more fitting close to this very epic year. Academia is inescapably important and I will make no attempt to pretend otherwise. (This passing reference only in light of tonight’s release of grades.) But in the end when I look back on 2011, a degree audit has nothing on me. On my heart.

I should probably document the Great Thailand Adventure in parts as my photos slowly find their way onto Facebook, though for the time being, they make no haste in that direction. (Hopefully I will also find time to write more frequently about my snippets of Taiwan lest I never finish journaling that experience!)

And when I think back to the two weeks I spent traversing Thailand’s capital, second largest city and rural outskirts, there are things I know will always stay with me, that make up some of the best parts of the year.

If cities were girls I will remember Chiangmai with her dirty blonde hair in dreadlocks, schlepping around backpacker bars and market street stalls in fisherman’s pants and a tie-dyed top. Nails cut short and slightly grimy, perusing the shelves of a second hand book store with a skewer of grilled meat in one hand and a bottle of Chang beer in the other.

I will remember Bangkok for her overt sex appeal, clad in a skintight dress in some tacky shade of neon, hemline barely skirting her hips, pouting expertly painted blood-red lips at a hapless farang. On a good day, she might be content with a cocktail on his tab; if her fancy turned, she might harness the muscle of touts and thugs to scam a poor foreigner into turning over a couple of thousand baht per night. 

And then I will remember sprawling Korat, and its districts of Phimai and Pak Chong, and how the girl-next-door looked like she might be the most uninspiring part of the trip but turned out to be the best. The way her bare feet ran and skipped through trees across a forest floor like it was her living room and how her voice carried like the lilt of a rushing river. I will remember riding, in the back of an open air pickup, down dusty roads dotted with pot-holes, feeling the driver hitting every one with relish, and thinking, in that moment, that there was no fucking thing in the world that would make me happier.

Great Thailand Adventure: Day 0
It’s a queer feeling, seeing my large purple suitcase lying open again on my bedroom floor, bikinis and summer dresses strewn haphazardly across its depths. It’s been almost a year since I stowed it with fragments of my 2010 self in preparation for exchange in Taiwan. Folded stacks of winter clothing laid neatly next to trepidation and a palpitating heart.
Now that Hsinchu has come and gone, it doesn’t seem like as much of a big deal to answer the call of wanderlust, to uproot and skip town when fancy strikes. This adventure has been long awaited; nobody else I’d rather be travelling with.
Hello, Thailand. I’ll see you in a few hours and when I do, I hope among your thousand smiles you’ve got a spare one for me, and enough room to find a part of myself I never knew existed.

Great Thailand Adventure: Day 0

It’s a queer feeling, seeing my large purple suitcase lying open again on my bedroom floor, bikinis and summer dresses strewn haphazardly across its depths. It’s been almost a year since I stowed it with fragments of my 2010 self in preparation for exchange in Taiwan. Folded stacks of winter clothing laid neatly next to trepidation and a palpitating heart.

Now that Hsinchu has come and gone, it doesn’t seem like as much of a big deal to answer the call of wanderlust, to uproot and skip town when fancy strikes. This adventure has been long awaited; nobody else I’d rather be travelling with.

Hello, Thailand. I’ll see you in a few hours and when I do, I hope among your thousand smiles you’ve got a spare one for me, and enough room to find a part of myself I never knew existed.

Junior Year

Fraught with change (progress?) and difficult lessons to learn, academically and otherwise. Evidently time and tide have marked a shift in dynamics this semester and I am not used to not keeping up. Will be glad to get away from it all and embark on these plans that have kept me going since forever. I hope the people who are important to me know I can never sum up their worth in a turn of phrase. Thank you for always being there. I hope you know who you are.

Here is to the best fucking way to end a semester - hours of relentless shots, inevitable inebriation, mindless laughter cloaked in an alcoholic haze, all overlooking Singapore from a vertigo-inducing 44 storeys high. Your argument is invalid.